Are we done? an SJE Testimonial

My wife and I had been promoters of [Natural Family Planning] for years and were on the verge of becoming certified NFP instructors. We had practiced NFP successfully for the first 10 years of our marriage — we achieved pregnancy within a month or two for each of our planned three children and avoided pregnancy when we prayerfully discerned it was not the right time. We were thrilled with the accuracy of NFP and its benefits for our marriage and spiritual lives.

Then the shocker came: an unplanned pregnancy. I was upset because I thought we had practiced NFP “by the book” and experienced method error. I was very angry since I had already opened my heart to God’s will and stretched my boundaries by moving forward with a third child — something I never expected to desire. Now God was giving us another child, with little room left in our house and all our baby items sold of in a garage sale the summer before. Ire boiled up inside me as I considered the situation: we would need a bigger house and the higher bills that come with it; we would have to attempt to defend NFP when it had so clearly failed us; and we would need to stave of the ridicule of our parents, siblings, friends and acquaintances who think we are foolish for not utilizing contraception or sterilization.

During a brutal week of soul searching, questioning and not being too pleased with God, my wife sought the counsel of a wise mother in our parish. When my wife and I sat down to talk the issue out, she passed on her friend’s thoughts. Her analysis was very straight-forward — if you’re going to talk the talk, then you have to walk the walk. For years I told others how NFP opens your life to God’s will and solidifies a pro-life attitude. Now it was time for me to accept the situation and respond accordingly.

After that night my attitude remarkably improved. I made my peace with God, my wife and my new child. My wife and I formed a united front to respond to others’ criticisms. And my wife and I moved forward with all the work required to acquire a new home and accepted the financial sacrifices required to accommodate the new addition.

Now our daughter is 20-months-old. Life is harder with a toddler as lack of sleep, continual monitoring, and diaper changing take their toll. Still, we are blessed with a unique, beautiful, and snuggly baby girl, a perfect new house in a wonderful neighborhood, a surprisingly better financial footing than forecasted and a deeper faith in God.

Oh, and looking back on the circumstances of the supposed method error that led to the unexpected pregnancy, we detected no fewer than five separate instances of user error during the cycle we conceived. We have since modified our NFP witness talk to include three perfectly planned pregnancies and one unexpected blessing achieved through comically poor practice of NFP. We have learned that God always provides, even when our intelligence is nowhere to be found! - Jim Czarnik

Jim's testimony was published in the July/August 2012 issue of Family Foundations.  Read similar testimonies from couples as they discerned family size at the Art of NFP blog as well.

Visit SJE's NFP Network to learn more about Natural Family Planning classes, the method, video testimonies and more.