Explaining Theology of the Body to Children

For many people, a first introduction to Theology of the Body (Blessed Pope John Paul II's integrated vision of the human person - body, soul, and spirit - delivered in a series of talks from 1979 to 1984) comes as an adult. Often, first-timers will sit stunned and wonder why they've never heard these beautiful teachings before. As they set about evangelizing this incredible work, they reach out to other adults in their lives.  Speaking of which...if you are unfamiliar with Theology of the Body, please stop by the SJE Lending Library to borrow such titles as Theology of the Body for Beginners, Marriage & the Eucharist on CD, or Purity in an Impure Age on DVD - just to name a very few!

But it can often be a struggle to explain such rich teachings to children. At SJE, we are striving to offer opportunities for explaining Theology of the Body to children of all ages:

Although not yet implemented, we do have a parishioner who has attended training to facilitate Theology of the Body for Middle School and Theology of the Body for Teens. For more information on those two programs, please email us!

"The Church has always affirmed that parents have the duty and right to be the primary educators of their children. Parents are rich in an educative potential which no one else possesses." (from the Vatican Document, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, n 5 & 7)

If it's time for the growing up talk in your home, but you don't want more than your preteen can handle and you want it from a Catholic perspective, our Catholic Family Institute presents the Growing Up parent/child workshops with Dr. Coleen Kelly Mast on Monday, March 11th from 6:00 to 7:30pm.  The program is suitable for 9-12 year olds accompanied by mom or dad.  The program is open to any family.  Read more and spread the word!

If your children are simply too young for the message, Christopher West shares an awesome Theology of the Body Bedtime Prayer that he recites with his family every night...

Thank You Jesus for making Mommy to be a woman.
Thank You for making Daddy to be a man.
Thank You for bringing Mommy and Daddy into the Sacrament of Marriage.
Thank You for bringing (insert name(s) of children here) into the world through Mommy and Daddy’s love. 
Help our boys grow into strong men ready to give away their bodies in love.
Help our girls grow into strong women ready to give away their bodies in love.
If they are called into the Sacrament of Marriage, please prepare them for their future spouse.
If they are called to give themselves entirely to Jesus and the Church as a priest or religious, please prepare their hearts for that.
Amen.

Plant the seeds of chastity, love, and authenticity now so that your family can glorify the Lord for eternity!

Reflections on Marriage from Father Maletta & NMWUSA

Did you miss Mass on World Marriage Day weekend at SJE? Listen to Father Maletta's reflections on Marriage (2/10/2013)

And read more from our friends at National Marriage Week USA:

ON FOX NEWS.COM:
Here's a secret -- Marriage is America's Most Effective Anti-poverty Program
By Sheila Weber, Executive Director, National Marriage Week USA
Published February 13, 2013

In spite of other disagreements, there is one aspect about marriage that both the left and the right can find to agree on. Marriage is a valuable anti-poverty program. 

The Brookings Institution says that if we had the marriage rate today that we had in 1970, there would be a 25 percent drop in poverty. The Heritage Foundation says that marriage drops the probability of a child living in poverty by 82 percent.

This week we focus on Valentine's Day; and while a celebration of romance is great, we should also celebrate marriage as a valuable culmination of romance, because it's not just about love, but ultimately about providing a better life for the children of America.

The decline of marriage is complex and multi-faceted—high divorce rates, increasing cohabitation, and high rates of out-of-wedlock births (42 percent of all U.S. babies today) have all contributed to the drop in marriage. Here are five reasons why we need to start a movement to re-value and strengthen marriage:

1. The decline of marriage hurts the working and lower class. Recent findings show that in working class white America, only 37 percent of children are living with both their mother and father (compared to 96% in 1960). In upper class America, the numbers are better--84 percent of children live with both their parents (compared to 99% in 1960). We can't ignore the overwhelming research that shows marriage brings greater financial stability to families, and single motherhood is the leading cause of poverty for both women and children. It's astounding that recently, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's Human Resource Commissioner Robert Doar was reported to be planning a campaign to promote marriage for “the outcome of the child,” since 70 percent of all babies born in the Bronx are born to unwed mothers. Most Americans feel compassion for the working 28-year-old single woman who finds herself in an unwanted circumstance and courageously chooses to give life and to raise her child alone. They understand her desire to maintain financial stability, and her hopes for marriage as part of her future. But the growing epidemic of births to single mothers that NYC Commissioner Doar wants to address is coming from women who are choosing to put themselves in unwed pregnancy, very often during their teenage years, and who have no means of financial self sufficiency nor any expectation or plan that the father will be a constant presence and legal provider. 
2. Loss of marital skills for the next generation. The decline in marriage rates (79% of U.S. adults were married in 1970, now only 52%) has been increasing the population of troubled youth and enlarging our prison populations (almost all prisoners are from single parent or broken homes), but there is another serious by-product: We are now raising a generation which does not know what healthy marriage looks and feels like, and thereby cannot model it. This means their children will also be less proficient in relationship skills, the ability to use self discipline, to restrain impulses for the sake of another, to exercise forgiveness and seek reconciliation....and so much more. 
3. Celebrity modeling sends the wrong message. While modeling adoption is positive, cohabiting unwed celebrity parents who make millions in the movie business are sending the wrong message about marriage to those who live paycheck to paycheck. This devaluing the importance of marriage has created a new cultural norm that childbearing prior to or without marriage is eminently socially acceptable, even heroic. But research proves overwhelmingly that this is harmful to regular folks who do not have the enormous financial wealth that affords celebrities to live their unusual lives of abundance. 
4. We can do better. It may be that the old-fashioned adage “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ___ with the baby carriage” sent a subliminal message and played a role in keeping more women and children out of poverty. Part of the rhyme's messaged called on men, too. It challenged them to marry first and to live up to much more of their potential, even if they did not do so perfectly. While there should be no tolerance for abuse, it turns out that a husband who was just “good enough” was better, for any child, than going through childhood without a permanent and committed male role model (as opposed to a boyfriend or partner). 
5. Our leaders know the truth, but don't say it. The Obamas are modeling the marital path toward success in raising children, but we need them and more leaders to speak forthrightly about the best ways to really give one's offspring the greatest advantages in life. If you graduate from high school, work full time, and postpone marriage and childbearing until after the age of 21, your chances of being in poverty are only 2 percent. If you don't do all of those three things, your chances of poverty rise to 77 percent. In our justifiable compassion and respect for anyone finding themselves in a difficult life circumstance, we simply don't know what to say or do about the unwed childbirth epidemic. Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan's forewarning to us years ago was that a declining society accepts as normal the bad things that are not normal. Given our current predicament, can we now tug at something inside the human heart— hope for the betterment of one's own child, civic duty, conscience, conviction about right or wrong (whether spiritual or merely practical) to shift the thinking and behavior of our fellow citizens....for their own good? 

Let's start a movement where more and more Americans seek out relationship education and marriage enrichment classes as often as we seek out other forms of self improvement such as home renovation, book clubs, grooming, fashion, décor, or cooking.

If we can change the public's thinking and habits on recycling, smoking, exercise and healthy eating, how much more does America need a campaign to improve the public's thinking and actions about the benefits to our country of encouraging healthy marriage?

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/02/13/why-marriage-is-best-anti-poverty-program/print##ixzz2KpNaLTGg

Sheila Weber, Executive Director, National Marriage Week USA

Chuck Stetson, Chairman, Let's Strengthen Marriage Campaign

Help spread the word! Let's Strengthen Marriage!
www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
sheila@nationalmarriageweekUSA.org

Forming Our Youth: Responsibility

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

Another important virtue is Responsibility.

A responsible person is obedient to one's conscience, to authorities and ultimately to God. This obedience is not passive, but rather a positive act of commitment, a duty. We should strive to actually benefit others by performing this duty and not just do the barest minimum required. Responsible people want to "carry their weight" and help accomplish the common tasks of the family, Church and wider community. Being responsible also requires us to accept and be held accountable for the consequences of our actions/words, whether deliberate or unintentional, especially when they result from a lack of foresight. So, we must try to undo any harm, repair the damage and make every effort not to make the same mistake again. Finally, the Christian virtue of responsibility calls us to concern ourselves with others, especially our family and friends, and help them strive to act responsibly.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Responsible?

• Before committing to a project or making a decision, do I carefully consider the possible consequences/impacts for myself and for others?
• After making a decision or starting a project/action, do I take responsibility for the outcome and accept the consequences, even when it doesn't turn out well?
• Do I understand that the Christian virtue of responsibility is about being accountable to someone else and ultimately to God for my actions and their consequences, whether intentional or unintentional?

Do I Teach Others to Be Responsible?

• Do I help the children recognize when they are in fact making decisions so that they can accept responsibility for them? Do I try to establish autonomous decision making areas for the children in which they make their own decisions and learn to accept the consequences?
• Do I help the children understand to whom they are responsible and accountable and for what things?
• Do I help the children accept responsibility for the mistakes they make, even when they did not mean for them to happen?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Holy Hour for Marriage

Today marks the launch of the National Marriage Week USA collaborative effort. NMWUSA "from February 7th to 14th every year — is a collaborative effort to encourage many diverse groups to strengthen individual marriages, reduce the divorce rate, and build a stronger marriage culture, which in turn helps curtail poverty and benefits children. Together we can make more impact than working alone." Visit the NMWUSA website for recommended reading, fun freebies, marriage tips and more.

World Marriage Day, sponsored by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, is celebrated annually on the 2nd Sunday of February, and "honors husband and wife as the foundation of the family, the basic unit of society. It salutes the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life."  WWME recently announced the national winners of the 2013 Longest Married Couple Project are John and Ann Betar of Fairfield, CT. They have been married 80 years as of Nov. 25, 2012.  Read more about the Betar's on the WWME website.

Holy Hour for Marriage
Friday, February 8th at 7:00 PM - Please join us at St. John the Evangelist Church, 10701 Olcott Avenue in St. John, for a Holy Hour for Marriage.  SJE's Catholic Family Institute schedules the Holy Hour featuring adoration and benediction each year to coincide with NMWUSA and World Marriage Day. Father Maletta will lead us in prayer.  All are welcome.  Please join us and invite your friends. Couples and families with children are especially encouraged to participate.

Marriage-Building Sunday
Those celebrating an anniversary in February will receive a special blessing at all weekend Masses on February 9th and 10th as part of the ongoing Marriage-Building Parish Initiative at SJE.  Father Maletta will also give a his annual homily on marriage this weekend.  To listen to Father Maletta's 2011 and 2012 World Marriage Day homilies, visit his homilies archives.

So are we becoming a Marriage-Building Parish?

It is a question for ALL of us. As we enter the 8th month of our Initiative, how is SJE becoming a “Marriage-Building Parish” during the Year of Faith? The Initiative involves 8 building blocks...each with multiple, individual goals. Some goals are noted below. And we have more work to do. Can you help us? Read more & volunteer your time and talents at www.stjohnparish.org/mbp.php


Building Leadership

1.Declare the "Marriage-Building Parish in the Year of Faith" initiative.
2. Provide ongoing catechesis, education and formation, in light of the authentic teaching of the Church, on why marriage is the union of one man and one woman and why this institution needs to be promoted and protected in society.
3. Review all parish ministries to make sure they are marriage-friendly.

Forming Youth and Young Adults

1. Implement faith formation programs and catechetical curriculum for youth that includes components at every level that address healthy, chaste relationships and the vocation of marriage.  UPCOMING PROGRAM:  March 11th - Kent & Coleen Kelly Mast present "Growing Up" parent/child workshop

2. Provide ongoing witness by married couples to the youth about the joys and struggles of the Sacrament of Marriage.

3. Develop a Young Adult ministry focused on positive opportunities for growth in relationships and vocation, and the meanings of covenant, sacrifice, faithfulness and openness to life. We're looking for young adults (ages 19-23) who can help launch this ministry!  Email us if you're interested.

Preparing for Sacramental Marriage

1. Implement the use of the Fully Engaged pre-marital inventory.
2. Provide mentoring before and after the wedding day.
3. Establish a prayer ministry for brides.  Please let us know if you would like to be a prayer partner!

Creating a Culture of Life

1. Highlight the inseparability of the unitive and procreative meanings of married love. UPCOMING PROGRAM: February 17th - Natural Family Planning Open House
2. Provide resources and encouragement for parents in crisis.
3. Utilize sacramental preparation as a time to teach parents how to effectively live out their vocation as primary educators of their children.  COMING SOON: Our local chapter of Elizabeth Ministry presents Sacred Steps.  Email us to get involved with this program!

Strengthening the Married

1. Renew and enrich married couples by highlighting resources to develop a happy and holy marriage.  Please refer to past links provided in this blog.
2. Provide formal and informal faith formation opportunities to delve into the Catechism of the Catholic Church and church documents from Vatican II.
3. Develop a fellowship and support ministry for those who have been married less than 5 years.  We're in the planning stages and would love your input and involvement.  Email us for more information.

Pastoral Caring

1. Implement a "Marriage Care" plan for couples in crisis.
2. Improve awareness of resources related to domestic abuse, child abuse, post-abortion healing, and hurting marriages.

Divorce Healing

1. Implement a support ministry for persons going through the trauma of separation and divorce.  MEETING NOW:  Divorce & Beyond support group
2. Improve awareness of resources related to divorce healing.

Worshipping and Prayer

1. Designate monthly "Marriage-Building Sundays" to celebrate anniversaries.  View schedule of Marriage-Building Sundays
2. Regularly pray for those who marriages have faced difficulties and that marriage, as the permanent and exclusive union of one man and one woman, be protected and promoted in our society and culture.  Submit your prayer request to be brought before our Lord in the Adoration Chapel.
3. Offer opportunities to pray for marriage as a community as well as in-home resources to help families pray together.  UPCOMING PROGRAMS:  Holy Hour for Marriage, Stations of the Cross for Married Couples and Children's Rosary