Forming Our Youth continued: Catholic Dating

Each month we've been highlighting a virtue related to the Forming Our Youth marriage-building parish building block.  We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships.  A recent article "A Parent's Guide to Courtship: Tips for Holy Catholic Dating" by Lori Hadacek Chaplin was featured in the June 2-15 edition of the National Catholic Register.

Chaplin writes that "From personal experience, I don’t regard the kind of dating where some guy comes by to take my daughter out for several hours on a Friday or Saturday night conducive to her earthly happiness and well-being — or the happiness of her eternal soul."

Chaplin further outlines:

• The Problem with Dating: "The modern dating scene sets our sons and daughters up for repeated emotional pain, all in the name of casual fun or entertainment."
• Dating vs. Courtship: "Before the advent of the car, couples got to know each other in the context of their family circles, otherwise known as courting. There was a measure of seriousness involved because couples were trying to discern marriage."
• Marriage in Mind: "Begin a relationship with the end in mind."

Chaplin's closing advice suggests that "Parents once again need to take an active role in helping their children choose a suitable spouse and to provide safeguards to protect their children’s virtue and their future happiness."  > Read the full article

What do you think?  Share your thoughts and links to other articles on the same topic.  

Forming Our Youth: Moderation

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.


Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

This month's featured virtue is Moderation.

People who are Moderate distinguish between what is reasonable and what is self-indulgent. They are able to enjoy life, and the good things in life, but they do not live for pleasure alone. They use their senses, time, money, and efforts in service to God and others. A moderate person recognizes that true, deep satisfaction is gained by pursuing high ideals and a Godly life, and that the pleasures of the flesh and the world are superficial and will always leave one wanting more. Moderation should be lived with joy, keeping one’s spirit lifted always to God.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Moderate?

• Am I conscious of the fact that as a Christian I should put all that I own– my time, my possessions, my efforts, my money and my senses– to the best use, to help others and to serve God?
• When I eat or drink or spend time on a hobby, do I always try to finish wanting a bit more?
• Do I find a harmonious way for spending my time on family, on my work, with my friends, on my duties as a citizen and as a child of God, without exaggeration and without falling short?
• Am I tied to one particular possession, or any particular routine, or any specific activity? Do I get upset when I can’t use that possession, or the routine is broken or when I cannot do that activity?

Do I Teach Others to Be Moderate?

• Do I help the children distinguish between what is necessary and what is superfluous; between what is reasonable and what is just a whim?
• Do I teach children what money is worth? Do I teach them how to earn, save and spend their money? Do I help the children have good taste, not necessarily buying the cheapest thing, but to spend money wisely, and to enjoy their possessions reasonably?
• Do I try to get the children to control their basic appetites? Do I insist on self-control?
• Do I teach the children to harmoniously distribute their time and make good use of it? Or, do I allow them to have a disproportionate amount of time watching television, playing video games or pursuing some other hobby?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Couple Prayer: In Defense of Marriage

http://www.marriageuniqueforareason.org/

USCCB: Prayer in Defense of Marriage

God our Father,
we give you thanks for the gift of marriage:
the bond of life and love, and the font of the family.

The love of husband and wife enriches your Church with children,
fills the world with a multitude of spiritual fruitfulness and service,
and is the sign of the love of your Son, Jesus Christ, for his Church.

The grace of Jesus flowed forth at Cana at the request of the Blessed Mother.
May your Son, through the intercession of Mary,
pour out upon us a new measure of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit
as we join with all people of good will
to promote and protect the unique beauty of marriage.

May your Holy Spirit enlighten our society
to treasure the heroic love of husband and wife,
and guide our leaders to sustain and protect
the singular place of mothers and fathers in the lives of their children.

Father, we ask that our prayers be joined to those of the Virgin Mary,
that your Word may transform our service
so as to safeguard the incomparable splendor of marriage.
We ask all these things through Christ our Lord,
Amen.

Saints Joachim and Anne, pray for us.

En Español

Upcoming:
2013 Fortnight for Freedom: June 21 to July 4
The U.S. bishops have called for a Fortnight for Freedom, a two-week period of prayer and action, to address many current challenges to religious liberty, including the August 1, 2013 deadline for religious organizations to comply with the HHS mandate; Supreme Court rulings that could redefine marriage in June, and religious liberty concerns in areas such as immigration and humanitarian services.

Marriage and Radicalism

Our prayers and blessings are offered today for all those who are serving and have served our country with dignity and honor.  You have our utmost respect and eternal gratitude for the sacrifices you have made in your family and marriage to serve us.  May God grant you grace for your selfless actions to uphold our freedoms.

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Have you ever contemplated the Sacrament of Marriage as a radical form of Christianity?
In a recent post on his DalyFocus blog, Jim Daly of Focus on the Family did something similar and we are inspired to share his thoughts!  In micro-summary form - he offers that the Three Ways to Be a Radical Christian include getting married young, have many children, and raise your kids to love the Lord.  AMEN  >Read the full post

Here's another one inspired by the blog Made in His Image:  avoid premarital sex!  >Read MIHI's blog post on How Premarital Sex Rewires the Brain

As our culture pressures us to accept the inevitability of the redefinition of marriage, we'd propose that standing firm and upholding the truth that marriage is between one man and one woman as yet another radical form of Christianity.  We'll offer some advice and talking points in this regard from the USCCB website Marriage: Unique for a Reason

• Read about What You Can Do as the Supreme Court prepares to rule on DOMA and Prop 8.  Hint: it involves prayer and speaking out!
• Read Lead Messages of Marriage Redefinition for advice on what to say when marriage comes up in conversation with friends, family members, neighbors, co-workers, etc. because "Marriage needs to be strengthened, not redefined. Cohabitation, divorce, and contraception all erode marriage’s meaning as a public, total, lifelong, and fruitful communion of persons between husband and wife."

Please share with us your thoughts and ways in which marriage can be lived as a form of radical Christianity. May God bless you for defending marriage!

Making June Plans? Save these Dates

The Marriage-Building Parish Initiative has nearly completed its year of programming and enrichment opportunities. Yesterday, our capstone presentation by Mrs. Kimberly Hahn spiritually "filled to the brim" one participant and "ended too soon" in the words of another. Mrs. Hahn's scriptural insights into God's design for marriage were truly a blessing to all. Our Lending Library will be stocked with new resources from Mrs. Hahn, including the 3 books which her talks were based upon: "Chosen and Cherished: Biblical Wisdom for Your Marriage," "Beloved and Blessed: Biblical Wisdom for Family Life," and "Life-Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage."

The month of June features several events that we hope you will join us for:

June 2nd - Financial Peace University Begins: If your marriage relationship is struggling due to lack of communication on finances, if you've never been on the same page about spending vs. saving, if you are burdened with debt, if you need advice on how to plan for retirement, or if you just need some motivation to get your financial house in order...FPU is the program for you! The series will meet Sunday evenings from 6:00 to 8:00 PM in the SJE Life House. Childcare may be available for those who register in advance. Read More and Register Today!

June 9th - Children's Rosary: All families are invited to join us at 6:00 PM when we'll pray the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary at the SJE Day Chapel using an interactive and dynamic manner that engages children of all ages.

 Children aged 8 and older are needed to read the reflections and lead the prayers, and those in 4th grade or above are needed to help as song leaders. We will gather at the school playground behind the Day Chapel afterwards for fellowship and light refreshments. Please bring a snack to share and lawn chair if you’d like a place to sit.

June 23rd - "Celebrate Marriage" is an ecumenical prayer service of the Indiana Pastors Alliance.  All are welcome to participate in praise and  fellowship as we recognize the sanctity of marriage.  We'll meet at 5:00 PM in the SJE Church at 10701 Olcott Avenue, St. John...followed by delicious treats provided by SJE's Angel Food Ministry.  Invite your family, co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintances to this family-friendly gathering!

June 29th/30th - At all weekend Masses, we'll close our Marriage-Building parish year in grand style with a renewal of vows by all married couples in attendance!

Forming Our Youth: Modesty

A final reminder that tickets are still available for our capstone presentation in the Marriage-Building Speaker Series on May 18th featuring Mrs. Kimberly Hahn!  Cost is only $10 per person with advance registration online or in the parish office.  Register online now!

Tickets will also be available at the door for $15 per person

Don't Forget about these Related Events at SJE:

Wednesday, 15th: Mom & Tot small group study featuring DVD presentations by Kimberly Hahn.  > Read More & Register

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Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.


Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

This month's featured virtue is Modesty.

Modest people recognize the value of their own privacy and respect that of others. Individual privacy relates to the uniqueness of each human person as a composite of body, soul and emotions. Respect for one’s privacy can be seen in the home, one’s dress and one’s language.

• The home should provide physical and emotional space for each member of the family to express her/his true intimate self and to share that intimate self appropriately with the other members of the family and trusted friends.
• Modesty in dress means that our body is available to no one but ourselves and that we have no desire to share it with everybody giving us the ability to share it with only one person in particular, our spouse, or nobody at all if called to a religious vocation.
• Modesty in language means speaking of intimate matters and personal problems in the appropriate circumstances to the right person at the right time and protecting from the curiosity of others the feelings, sentiments and states of mind that make up one’s spiritual and emotional life.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I modest?

• Do I understand that sometimes I should keep things to do with my intimate self private and that sometimes I should share it with others? When I share these things with others, is it because I am looking for help or I think I may be able to help them?
• Do I dress according to the rules of modesty and consider whether my clothing and my demeanor will provoke members of the opposite sex?
• Do I try to be careful about the language I use in order not to be vulgar or crude or offend God?

Do I Teach Others to Be Modest?

• Do I insist that children respect other peoples privacy by knocking on doors before entering and not walking around the house without clothes on?
• Do I help the children understand the importance of not prying into other people’s privacy and encourage them to dress and behave themselves in a modest manner?
• Do I give my children age-appropriate information about their bodies and sex framed in the context of God’s plan for marital love and them personally and in accordance with the moral/sexual teachings of the Church?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Resource Referral: The 4 Seasons of Marriage

Before we get to this week's resource referral on marriage, a quick reminder that tickets are still available for our capstone presentation in the Marriage-Building Speaker Series on May 18th featuring Mrs. Kimberly Hahn!  Cost is only $10 per person.  Register online now!

Don't Forget about these Related Events at SJE:

Wednesdays, May 8th & 15th: Mom & Tot small group study featuring DVD presentations by Kimberly Hahn.  > Read More & Register

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Father Maletta recently shared his book recommendations which included a "Highly Recommended" designation for The 4 Seasons of Marriage by Dr. Gary Chapman. Chapman is the author of best selling The Five Love Languages. He provides an easy-to-grasp framework to help couples understand their marriage and seven practical strategies for strengthening or improving their marriage relationship based on what season they find themselves in.

Read more about the book and take a marriage quiz online at www.fourseasonsofmarriage.com!

Converting to Catholicism: Her Testimonial and more from Mrs. Kimberly Hahn

As we prepare to welcome Mrs. Kimberly Hahn at St. John the Evangelist for her capstone presentation in our Marriage-Building Speaker Series on May 18th, the following resources are presented to help you get to know Mrs. Hahn better.

Don't Forget about these Related Events at SJE:

Wednesday, May 1st: Mom & Tot small group study featuring DVD presentations by Kimberly Hahn.  > Read More & Register

Saturday/Sunday, May 4th/5th:  15-Minute Faith Formation after the 5 pm, 7:30 am and 9:30 am Masses will feature a brief review of Dr. & Mrs. Hahn's book Rome Sweet Home.

Stop by the Lending Library to borrow titles by Mrs. Kimberly Hahn!

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From EWTN's The Journey Home with Scott & Kimberly Hahn 9/6/2010:  Kimberly shares how she was "jealous of Mary" because whenever she had difficult discussions with Scott about the intention of becoming Catholics, Scott would have "a lovely little walk with Mary" and pray the rosary. Her father who is a Presbyterian pastor reminded her of the prayer "Lord I will go wherever you want me to go, I will say whatever you want me to say and I will give away whatever you want me to give away."  > Watch the Clip

> View the Full Interview

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In her own words, Kimberly Hahn's conversion story.  > Read More

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Kimberly Hahn on offering everything to God.  > Watch the Clip

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Defending the Faith Conference 2010:  Using Scripture and the Catechism, Kimberly Hahn teaches on the true meaning of chastity. It's an apprenticeship in self-mastery and the successful integration of sexuality in a person's life. Everybody married or single is called to chastity.  > Watch the Clip

*****
A Lie in the Language of Love excerpted from Swear to God: The Promise and Power of the Sacraments by Scott Hahn:  "Return with me, for a moment, to the early 1980s, when Kimberly and I were newlyweds. Ardent Presbyterians, we both were studying theology at a conservative evangelical seminary.

The curriculum was demanding; money was tight; and we, like all our married friends, were using contraceptives. Children would have to wait till we were ready, financially and otherwise. In the meantime, artificial birth control allowed us the pleasure of what we considered "normal" marital relations. We thought of it as an extended honeymoon.

During our second year at seminary, however, Kimberly discovered the lie that was at the root of our married life. In research for an ethics course, she found that, until 1930, Christian churches-without exception-condemned contraception in the strongest terms."  > Read More

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We hope you'll join us for Mrs. Hahn's marriage enrichment seminar on May 18th! Invite your friends and family whether they are single, engaged, or married.

Presentations include: "Chosen and Cherished: Biblical Wisdom for Your Marriage," "Beloved and Blessed: Biblical Wisdom for Family Life," and "Life-Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage."  Early bird discount tickets available through April 30th ... only $5 per person.

Marriage-Building Speaker Series featuring Mrs. Kimberly Hahn

REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN!
Saturday, May 18, 2013 from 9 AM - 2 PM(Church)

Mrs. Kimberly Hahn is an author, popular speaker, wife of Dr. Scott Hahn and mother of six. She will be discussing God's design for marriage as our closing keynote for the Marriage-Building speaker series on Saturday, May 18th. Mrs. Hahn will offer biblical wisdom to enrich marriages in very practical ways. With simplicity, grace, and wit, she shares her personal experiences and practical insights on how to apply the truths of our Catholic Faith to everyday life.

Register online now or stop by the Parish or Narthex office. Early registration is $5 per person and closes April 30th. On May 1st, registration increases to $10 per person. Spread the word! > Download a flyer to share

Co-sponsored by The Shrine of Christ's Passion and Couple to Couple League of Northwest Indiana

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Related Events at SJE:

Wednesday, May 1st: Mom & Tot small group study featuring DVD presentations by Kimberly Hahn.  > Read More & Register

Saturday/Sunday, May 4th/5th:  15-Minute Faith Formation after the 5 pm, 7:30 am and 9:30 am Masses will feature a brief review of Dr. & Mrs. Hahn's book Rome Sweet Home.

And don't forget to stop by the Lending Library to borrow titles by Mrs. Kimberly Hahn!

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Getting to Know Mrs. Hahn:

Mrs. Kimberly Hahn has been married to Scott since 1979. They have six children and four grandchildren. Kimberly has been a full-time, stay-at-home Mom since their firstborn’s arrival. Currently, she home schools her younger children. She enjoys speaking with Scott, but ministry is a priority after family commitments.

Kimberly became a Catholic at the Easter Vigil of 1990 in Joliet, Illinois, after a difficult struggle during the four years following Scott’s entrance into the Catholic Church. She has completed a book with Scott on their journey into the Catholic Church entitled Rome Sweet Home: Our Journey to Catholicism. It has been translated into Spanish, French, Czech, Polish, Chinese, Italian, German and Dutch. In addition to Rome Sweet Home, Kimberly’s other books are Beloved and Blessed: Biblical Wisdom for Family Life; Graced and Gifted: Biblical Wisdom for the Homemaker's Heart; Chosen and Cherished: Biblical Wisdom for Your Marriage; and Life Giving Love: Embracing God’s Beautiful Design for Marriage published by Servant Publications. She has contributed chapters to the four-volume series of books, Catholic for A Reason, as well as The Gift of Femininity. She has also co-authored a book on Catholic home education with Mary Hasson entitled, Catholic Education - Homeward Bound: A Guide to Home Schooling.

Kimberly’s educational background includes a Bachelors of Arts in Communication Arts from Grove City College in Grove City, Pennsylvania, in May of 1979 (magna cum laude), followed by a Masters of Arts in Theology from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in May, 1982 (magna cum laude).

During past school years, Kimberly lead a weekly Bible study at Franciscan University. Her studies on the Mysteries of the Rosary, Proverbs 31, Knowing the Will of God, Finances, Praying from the Hearth, Dating and Courtship, and Women of Hope are available on through St. Joseph Communications as are many of her talks on topics related to family life and the Catholic faith.

Forming Our Youth: Sincerity

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

Another important virtue is Sincerity.

A sincere person makes full disclosure, where appropriate, to the right person and at the right time, of anything they have done, seen, thought or felt with regard to their own or another’s situation. Sincerity involves telling the truth in a simple, orderly way and with a sense of responsibility. Sincerity should always be governed by prudence and charity. We should only give our opinion if we have sufficient information and if it will not damage someone else in a negative way.

To help our children develop sincerity, we should encourage our children to talk to us about themselves and direct them:

• To distinguish between fact and opinion
• To decide what is really important
• To decide who should be told what
• To decide what is an opportune moment
• To understand the reasoning behind the above distinctions

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Sincere?

• Do I prudently and charitably talk about what I have seen and what I have heard?
• Do I share information about feelings, ideas, etc to help others or to look for help towards my own improvement?
• Do I give good example to the children by neither lying, nor covering up the truth, or trying to mislead other people?
• Am I conscious of the times when I cannot and should not reveal some truth?

Do I Teach Others to Be Sincere?

• Do I tend to trust the children and believe what they say without being naïve? (Sincerity is stimulated through signs of trust.)
• Do I help the children distinguish between reality and imagination? (It is good for children to develop an imagination, but it is not good for them to mix up reality and fantasy.)
• Do I keep an eye on the children who talk too much, to help them learn that there is a right time and a right person? (One may have to explain the negative consequences of talking about the wrong things to the wrong people.)
• If a child tends to lie, I try to find out why and then take some action. (For example, some children may feel a need to lie in order not to seem different from their friends, or to be more important, or for fear of some punishment.)

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Back from Spring Break!

Happy Easter!

The MBP Blog is back from Spring Break.  We hope you enjoyed a truly blessed celebration with your family, friends and cherished ones!

In reading a recent issue of Magnificat, there was a reflection on The Year of Faith and conversion:

"For those serious about living by faith, conversion is something that must re-happen every day. ...Jesus always finds a way to break through our resistance.  Pope Benedict writes that 'faith requires conversion, and that conversion is an act of obedience toward a reality which precedes me and which does not originate from me.' ...Moreover, [M. Gaudoin-Parker writes] 'conversion involves the transformation of all our fragmented experiences, all our disjointed and painful memories, all our divisive and frustrating moments of unachieved hopes, yearnings and dreams, as well as our failures and loss of self-esteem or sense of worth resulting from the destructive power of evil.'" -Peter John Cameron, O.P., Editorial, Magnificat

Contemplate how this passage relates to your own marriage.  Couldn't it be said that within marriage there must be a never-ending process of daily conversion to Christ if we are to fulfill our sacramental vows with our spouse?  Praise God for using our marriages to draw us closer to Him!  We pray your hearts and marriages are on fire with love for our Lord during the Easter season and always.

You are cordially invited to experience a time of spiritual renewal and reflection with your spouse at CFI's upcoming Romantic Dinner for Couples on Saturday, April 27th at 6:00 PM.

Your candlelit table-for-two will be the setting for discovering the Sacred History of your marriage.  Registration closes as soon as we reach our capacity of 10 couples.  There are only 5 tables left!  REGISTER TODAY!

Resource Referral: Dave Ramsey on Legacies

> > > Read More & Register for this new class! < < <

Other Thoughts from Dave...
Legacy Drawer: Keep Your Family Prepared 
Don't overlook this essential part of your financial plan
from daveramsey.com on October 7, 2010

If you've listened to Dave for any amount of time, you've heard him talk about the Legacy Drawer. So what is it? Basically, it's a drawer that houses all of the important information your family needs in case something happens to you. Preparing for when you are no longer here is not a fun task, but it's crucial to do this for your family.

Every household needs a Legacy Drawer. It doesn't matter if you're single with no kids or 76 and have 12 grandkids—you need a Legacy Drawer. It's the last gift you will give your family, so make it a good one. If you truly care about your loved ones, you will take the time to create a Legacy Drawer.

The drawer should be somewhere in your home and contain everything your spouse or family needs to know if you aren't around—anything that has to do with your financial life should be in that drawer. You must organize it in a way that anyone can find a specific document in 30 seconds. All files should be clearly marked, in order, and easy for a grieving family member to find. There's no need to go into extreme detail when creating your Legacy Drawer. Simply include the appropriate documents in an easy-to-understand format, and you're good to go! > Read full article

Forming Our Youth: Respect for Others

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

Another important virtue is Respect for Others.

A respectful person acts (or refrains from acting) out of love so as to help others and not to harm them. Every person, as a Child of God, deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. However, each individual has a status or circumstance that requires he/she be respected in a certain way. For instance, children have a duty to respect their parents their entire lives, even though their duty to obey ends when they are completely independent of their parents’ support/care. We teach young children to respect others by creating an atmosphere of respect and affection in our homes and classrooms. Specifically, children should be taught:

• To accept each person as he/she is and look for the best in that person
• To understand the different status of individuals (teachers, parents, officials, friends) and the respect that status requires
• To be kind and considerate and not deliberately upset/goad others
• To always ask permission before using an item that belongs to another and return it in good condition
• To ask politely for items or assistance and always say "thank you"

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Respectful of Others?

• Do I usually manage to maintain an atmosphere of understanding, acceptance and respect in the classroom or home?
• When talking to others, do I try to avoid general judgments about people, indiscriminate criticism and any kind of prejudice?

Do I Teach Others to Be Respectful?

• Do I teach children that each individual has a right to respect for her/his person, property, modesty and good name?
• Do I insist that the children respect my authority as their parent/teacher and to respect all those in authority?
• Do I help the children realize when they are criticizing others, talking badly about them behind their backs or doing harmful things?
• Do I help them see opportunities to help others improve in a loving/prudent way?
• Do I help kids see when they are impacting others’ negatively by playing on their emotions or taking advantage of an age difference to get what they want?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Couple Prayer: Stations of the Cross

As you review your Lenten journey thus far, how do you measure up?  Have you successfully given up a comfort in order to better focus on the greater good of God's plan?  As we know, Lent is not just about giving up comforts.  Lent is also a time to increase acts of charity.  And in the spirit of the Marriage-Building Parish Initiative, we must ask: "What have you given up or taken up to improve your marriage...especially during the season of Lent?"

Joseph A. Breig writes "Married couples are sometimes unaware that suffering is one of their great home-made tools for sanctity. It is looked upon as an annoyance, but Christian marital love necessarily involves suffering, for the essence of unity is not so much to enjoy each other, but to suffer together. Still joy and suffering are not two sides of a unity called love. What was once "desire" before marriage becomes "offering" after marriage." > Read More

We invite you to meditate of Jesus' suffering with your spouse and the larger faith community at St. John the Evangelist on Friday, March 15th.  The Catholic Family Institute will lead the Friday evening prayer with "Stations of the Cross for Married Couples" at 7:00 PM in the Church.  Each station will feature a reading and reflection that will lend itself to further discussion with your spouse.  Singles, engaged couples and children are welcome and encouraged to participate as well.

Perhaps you'll have to give up an opportunity to socialize with friends or catch up on your favorite television program by heading to church on a Friday evening.  However, praying this centuries old devotion with a focus on the unique vocation of marriage with your spouse is bound to bring God's plan for your relationship into better focus.

Can't join us?  For other recommendations on observing Lent with your spouse, visit the USCCB's website "For Your Marriage"

Explaining Theology of the Body to Children

For many people, a first introduction to Theology of the Body (Blessed Pope John Paul II's integrated vision of the human person - body, soul, and spirit - delivered in a series of talks from 1979 to 1984) comes as an adult. Often, first-timers will sit stunned and wonder why they've never heard these beautiful teachings before. As they set about evangelizing this incredible work, they reach out to other adults in their lives.  Speaking of which...if you are unfamiliar with Theology of the Body, please stop by the SJE Lending Library to borrow such titles as Theology of the Body for Beginners, Marriage & the Eucharist on CD, or Purity in an Impure Age on DVD - just to name a very few!

But it can often be a struggle to explain such rich teachings to children. At SJE, we are striving to offer opportunities for explaining Theology of the Body to children of all ages:

Although not yet implemented, we do have a parishioner who has attended training to facilitate Theology of the Body for Middle School and Theology of the Body for Teens. For more information on those two programs, please email us!

"The Church has always affirmed that parents have the duty and right to be the primary educators of their children. Parents are rich in an educative potential which no one else possesses." (from the Vatican Document, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, n 5 & 7)

If it's time for the growing up talk in your home, but you don't want more than your preteen can handle and you want it from a Catholic perspective, our Catholic Family Institute presents the Growing Up parent/child workshops with Dr. Coleen Kelly Mast on Monday, March 11th from 6:00 to 7:30pm.  The program is suitable for 9-12 year olds accompanied by mom or dad.  The program is open to any family.  Read more and spread the word!

If your children are simply too young for the message, Christopher West shares an awesome Theology of the Body Bedtime Prayer that he recites with his family every night...

Thank You Jesus for making Mommy to be a woman.
Thank You for making Daddy to be a man.
Thank You for bringing Mommy and Daddy into the Sacrament of Marriage.
Thank You for bringing (insert name(s) of children here) into the world through Mommy and Daddy’s love. 
Help our boys grow into strong men ready to give away their bodies in love.
Help our girls grow into strong women ready to give away their bodies in love.
If they are called into the Sacrament of Marriage, please prepare them for their future spouse.
If they are called to give themselves entirely to Jesus and the Church as a priest or religious, please prepare their hearts for that.
Amen.

Plant the seeds of chastity, love, and authenticity now so that your family can glorify the Lord for eternity!

Reflections on Marriage from Father Maletta & NMWUSA

Did you miss Mass on World Marriage Day weekend at SJE? Listen to Father Maletta's reflections on Marriage (2/10/2013)

And read more from our friends at National Marriage Week USA:

ON FOX NEWS.COM:
Here's a secret -- Marriage is America's Most Effective Anti-poverty Program
By Sheila Weber, Executive Director, National Marriage Week USA
Published February 13, 2013

In spite of other disagreements, there is one aspect about marriage that both the left and the right can find to agree on. Marriage is a valuable anti-poverty program. 

The Brookings Institution says that if we had the marriage rate today that we had in 1970, there would be a 25 percent drop in poverty. The Heritage Foundation says that marriage drops the probability of a child living in poverty by 82 percent.

This week we focus on Valentine's Day; and while a celebration of romance is great, we should also celebrate marriage as a valuable culmination of romance, because it's not just about love, but ultimately about providing a better life for the children of America.

The decline of marriage is complex and multi-faceted—high divorce rates, increasing cohabitation, and high rates of out-of-wedlock births (42 percent of all U.S. babies today) have all contributed to the drop in marriage. Here are five reasons why we need to start a movement to re-value and strengthen marriage:

1. The decline of marriage hurts the working and lower class. Recent findings show that in working class white America, only 37 percent of children are living with both their mother and father (compared to 96% in 1960). In upper class America, the numbers are better--84 percent of children live with both their parents (compared to 99% in 1960). We can't ignore the overwhelming research that shows marriage brings greater financial stability to families, and single motherhood is the leading cause of poverty for both women and children. It's astounding that recently, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's Human Resource Commissioner Robert Doar was reported to be planning a campaign to promote marriage for “the outcome of the child,” since 70 percent of all babies born in the Bronx are born to unwed mothers. Most Americans feel compassion for the working 28-year-old single woman who finds herself in an unwanted circumstance and courageously chooses to give life and to raise her child alone. They understand her desire to maintain financial stability, and her hopes for marriage as part of her future. But the growing epidemic of births to single mothers that NYC Commissioner Doar wants to address is coming from women who are choosing to put themselves in unwed pregnancy, very often during their teenage years, and who have no means of financial self sufficiency nor any expectation or plan that the father will be a constant presence and legal provider. 
2. Loss of marital skills for the next generation. The decline in marriage rates (79% of U.S. adults were married in 1970, now only 52%) has been increasing the population of troubled youth and enlarging our prison populations (almost all prisoners are from single parent or broken homes), but there is another serious by-product: We are now raising a generation which does not know what healthy marriage looks and feels like, and thereby cannot model it. This means their children will also be less proficient in relationship skills, the ability to use self discipline, to restrain impulses for the sake of another, to exercise forgiveness and seek reconciliation....and so much more. 
3. Celebrity modeling sends the wrong message. While modeling adoption is positive, cohabiting unwed celebrity parents who make millions in the movie business are sending the wrong message about marriage to those who live paycheck to paycheck. This devaluing the importance of marriage has created a new cultural norm that childbearing prior to or without marriage is eminently socially acceptable, even heroic. But research proves overwhelmingly that this is harmful to regular folks who do not have the enormous financial wealth that affords celebrities to live their unusual lives of abundance. 
4. We can do better. It may be that the old-fashioned adage “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ___ with the baby carriage” sent a subliminal message and played a role in keeping more women and children out of poverty. Part of the rhyme's messaged called on men, too. It challenged them to marry first and to live up to much more of their potential, even if they did not do so perfectly. While there should be no tolerance for abuse, it turns out that a husband who was just “good enough” was better, for any child, than going through childhood without a permanent and committed male role model (as opposed to a boyfriend or partner). 
5. Our leaders know the truth, but don't say it. The Obamas are modeling the marital path toward success in raising children, but we need them and more leaders to speak forthrightly about the best ways to really give one's offspring the greatest advantages in life. If you graduate from high school, work full time, and postpone marriage and childbearing until after the age of 21, your chances of being in poverty are only 2 percent. If you don't do all of those three things, your chances of poverty rise to 77 percent. In our justifiable compassion and respect for anyone finding themselves in a difficult life circumstance, we simply don't know what to say or do about the unwed childbirth epidemic. Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan's forewarning to us years ago was that a declining society accepts as normal the bad things that are not normal. Given our current predicament, can we now tug at something inside the human heart— hope for the betterment of one's own child, civic duty, conscience, conviction about right or wrong (whether spiritual or merely practical) to shift the thinking and behavior of our fellow citizens....for their own good? 

Let's start a movement where more and more Americans seek out relationship education and marriage enrichment classes as often as we seek out other forms of self improvement such as home renovation, book clubs, grooming, fashion, décor, or cooking.

If we can change the public's thinking and habits on recycling, smoking, exercise and healthy eating, how much more does America need a campaign to improve the public's thinking and actions about the benefits to our country of encouraging healthy marriage?

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/02/13/why-marriage-is-best-anti-poverty-program/print##ixzz2KpNaLTGg

Sheila Weber, Executive Director, National Marriage Week USA

Chuck Stetson, Chairman, Let's Strengthen Marriage Campaign

Help spread the word! Let's Strengthen Marriage!
www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
sheila@nationalmarriageweekUSA.org

Forming Our Youth: Responsibility

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

Another important virtue is Responsibility.

A responsible person is obedient to one's conscience, to authorities and ultimately to God. This obedience is not passive, but rather a positive act of commitment, a duty. We should strive to actually benefit others by performing this duty and not just do the barest minimum required. Responsible people want to "carry their weight" and help accomplish the common tasks of the family, Church and wider community. Being responsible also requires us to accept and be held accountable for the consequences of our actions/words, whether deliberate or unintentional, especially when they result from a lack of foresight. So, we must try to undo any harm, repair the damage and make every effort not to make the same mistake again. Finally, the Christian virtue of responsibility calls us to concern ourselves with others, especially our family and friends, and help them strive to act responsibly.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Responsible?

• Before committing to a project or making a decision, do I carefully consider the possible consequences/impacts for myself and for others?
• After making a decision or starting a project/action, do I take responsibility for the outcome and accept the consequences, even when it doesn't turn out well?
• Do I understand that the Christian virtue of responsibility is about being accountable to someone else and ultimately to God for my actions and their consequences, whether intentional or unintentional?

Do I Teach Others to Be Responsible?

• Do I help the children recognize when they are in fact making decisions so that they can accept responsibility for them? Do I try to establish autonomous decision making areas for the children in which they make their own decisions and learn to accept the consequences?
• Do I help the children understand to whom they are responsible and accountable and for what things?
• Do I help the children accept responsibility for the mistakes they make, even when they did not mean for them to happen?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Holy Hour for Marriage

Today marks the launch of the National Marriage Week USA collaborative effort. NMWUSA "from February 7th to 14th every year — is a collaborative effort to encourage many diverse groups to strengthen individual marriages, reduce the divorce rate, and build a stronger marriage culture, which in turn helps curtail poverty and benefits children. Together we can make more impact than working alone." Visit the NMWUSA website for recommended reading, fun freebies, marriage tips and more.

World Marriage Day, sponsored by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, is celebrated annually on the 2nd Sunday of February, and "honors husband and wife as the foundation of the family, the basic unit of society. It salutes the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life."  WWME recently announced the national winners of the 2013 Longest Married Couple Project are John and Ann Betar of Fairfield, CT. They have been married 80 years as of Nov. 25, 2012.  Read more about the Betar's on the WWME website.

Holy Hour for Marriage
Friday, February 8th at 7:00 PM - Please join us at St. John the Evangelist Church, 10701 Olcott Avenue in St. John, for a Holy Hour for Marriage.  SJE's Catholic Family Institute schedules the Holy Hour featuring adoration and benediction each year to coincide with NMWUSA and World Marriage Day. Father Maletta will lead us in prayer.  All are welcome.  Please join us and invite your friends. Couples and families with children are especially encouraged to participate.

Marriage-Building Sunday
Those celebrating an anniversary in February will receive a special blessing at all weekend Masses on February 9th and 10th as part of the ongoing Marriage-Building Parish Initiative at SJE.  Father Maletta will also give a his annual homily on marriage this weekend.  To listen to Father Maletta's 2011 and 2012 World Marriage Day homilies, visit his homilies archives.

So are we becoming a Marriage-Building Parish?

It is a question for ALL of us. As we enter the 8th month of our Initiative, how is SJE becoming a “Marriage-Building Parish” during the Year of Faith? The Initiative involves 8 building blocks...each with multiple, individual goals. Some goals are noted below. And we have more work to do. Can you help us? Read more & volunteer your time and talents at www.stjohnparish.org/mbp.php


Building Leadership

1.Declare the "Marriage-Building Parish in the Year of Faith" initiative.
2. Provide ongoing catechesis, education and formation, in light of the authentic teaching of the Church, on why marriage is the union of one man and one woman and why this institution needs to be promoted and protected in society.
3. Review all parish ministries to make sure they are marriage-friendly.

Forming Youth and Young Adults

1. Implement faith formation programs and catechetical curriculum for youth that includes components at every level that address healthy, chaste relationships and the vocation of marriage.  UPCOMING PROGRAM:  March 11th - Kent & Coleen Kelly Mast present "Growing Up" parent/child workshop

2. Provide ongoing witness by married couples to the youth about the joys and struggles of the Sacrament of Marriage.

3. Develop a Young Adult ministry focused on positive opportunities for growth in relationships and vocation, and the meanings of covenant, sacrifice, faithfulness and openness to life. We're looking for young adults (ages 19-23) who can help launch this ministry!  Email us if you're interested.

Preparing for Sacramental Marriage

1. Implement the use of the Fully Engaged pre-marital inventory.
2. Provide mentoring before and after the wedding day.
3. Establish a prayer ministry for brides.  Please let us know if you would like to be a prayer partner!

Creating a Culture of Life

1. Highlight the inseparability of the unitive and procreative meanings of married love. UPCOMING PROGRAM: February 17th - Natural Family Planning Open House
2. Provide resources and encouragement for parents in crisis.
3. Utilize sacramental preparation as a time to teach parents how to effectively live out their vocation as primary educators of their children.  COMING SOON: Our local chapter of Elizabeth Ministry presents Sacred Steps.  Email us to get involved with this program!

Strengthening the Married

1. Renew and enrich married couples by highlighting resources to develop a happy and holy marriage.  Please refer to past links provided in this blog.
2. Provide formal and informal faith formation opportunities to delve into the Catechism of the Catholic Church and church documents from Vatican II.
3. Develop a fellowship and support ministry for those who have been married less than 5 years.  We're in the planning stages and would love your input and involvement.  Email us for more information.

Pastoral Caring

1. Implement a "Marriage Care" plan for couples in crisis.
2. Improve awareness of resources related to domestic abuse, child abuse, post-abortion healing, and hurting marriages.

Divorce Healing

1. Implement a support ministry for persons going through the trauma of separation and divorce.  MEETING NOW:  Divorce & Beyond support group
2. Improve awareness of resources related to divorce healing.

Worshipping and Prayer

1. Designate monthly "Marriage-Building Sundays" to celebrate anniversaries.  View schedule of Marriage-Building Sundays
2. Regularly pray for those who marriages have faced difficulties and that marriage, as the permanent and exclusive union of one man and one woman, be protected and promoted in our society and culture.  Submit your prayer request to be brought before our Lord in the Adoration Chapel.
3. Offer opportunities to pray for marriage as a community as well as in-home resources to help families pray together.  UPCOMING PROGRAMS:  Holy Hour for Marriage, Stations of the Cross for Married Couples and Children's Rosary

Pray for Life

THE 40TH MARCH FOR LIFE
Jeanne Monahan and Patrick Kelly

January 22nd marks the 40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and on the 25th we will commemorate that solemn occasion with the 40th anniversary of the largest human rights demonstration in the world, the MARCH FOR LIFE.  With the passing of the pro-life leader and visionary Nellie Gray, a change in leadership has occurred, and with this new leadership comes big plans for the March as we go forward.

This year in particular we aim to raise awareness in the minds of all Americans of the 40th Anniversary and the toll this has taken on these United States. Our theme includes an equation--40=55M, to signify that in the forty years since Roe v. Wade, 55 million of our fellow human beings have lost their lives to abortion. Fifty-five million is nearly the population of California and New York combined.  Clearly, abortion truly is the human rights abuse of today and our theme this year reflects this reality. > Read more at marchforlife.org

National Prayer Vigil For Life

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS - January 24-25, 2013

Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, Washington, DC

Thursday, January 24, 2013

3:30 pm - 6:00 pm      Confessions - Our Lady of Hostyn Chapel - to the left in the
                                       Crypt Church (lower level)

6:30 pm - 9:30 pm      Opening Mass - Great Upper Church, Principal
                                       Celebrant & Homilist: Cardinal Seán Patrick O’Malley,
                                       O.F.M. Cap., Chairman-elect, USCCB Committee on Pro-Life
                                       Activities

9:30 pm - 11:30 pm    Confessions - Our Lady of Hostyn Chapel

10:00 pm - 11:00 pm  National Rosary for Life - Crypt Church (lower level)

11:00 pm - 12:00 am  Night Prayer (Byzantine Rite) - Crypt Church,
                                        Celebrant: Most Reverend William C. Skurla, D.D.,
                                        Metropolitan Archbishop of Pittsburgh
                                        Homilist: Most Reverend Peter A. Libasci, Bishop of Manchester

Friday, January 25, 2013

---

12:00 am - 6:30 am    Holy Hours for Life - Crypt Church
                                        Led by pro-life seminarians from across the country

                                        12:00 - 1:00 am: Blessed John XXIII Seminary
                                                                      (Weston, MA)

                                          1:00 - 2:00 am: Mundelein Seminary
                                                                      (Mundelein, IL)

                                          2:00 - 3:00 am: Mount St. Mary's Seminary
                                                                      (Emmitsburg, MD)

                                          3:00 - 4:00 am: Theological College
                                                                      (Washington, DC)

                                          4:00 - 5:00 am: St. John's Seminary
                                                                      (Boston, MA)

                                          5:00 - 6:00 am: St. Charles Borromeo Seminary
                                                                      (Philadelphia, PA)

6:00 am                         Adoration (with reflection at 6:20) -
                                        Dominican House of Studies, Washington, DC

6:30 am                         Morning Prayer, Benediction, Reposition -
                                        Dominican House of Studies, Washington, DC

7:30 am                         Closing Mass - Great Upper Church, Principal Celebrant

                                        & Homilist: Most Reverend Kevin J. Farrell, Bishop of Dallas

http://www.usccb.org/about/pro-life-activities/january-roe-events/national-prayer-vigil-for-life-schedule.cfm

Forming our Youth: Orderliness

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

The next virtue discussed is Orderliness.

We are orderly when we follow a logical procedure in organizing our things and our time. It is also important to be orderly in our thoughts and communication. Personal tidiness and tidiness of the home is extremely important for reasons of hygiene, but also as a preliminary for any attempt to be orderly elsewhere. Children should be taught to put things in some logical place that fits with their nature and purpose, so that they do not get broken and can be found again without fuss. However, once basic standards for order/cleanliness are understood, let children tidy in their own way creating their own systems rather than imposing your own ways upon them.

In using our time properly, we must remember to hold fast to what is truly important and not be slaves to the tyranny of the urgent. For children, it is best to create routines for things that happen daily, such as meals, naps/bed time, and homework and to stick with them as much as possible. As children get older, they should be encouraged to keep a planner or calendar to manage their assignments and extracurricular activities and take more personal responsibility for meeting deadlines.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Orderly?

• Do I have a clear hierarchy of values for my own life and for the education/formation of the children?
• Do I usually know where to find my things? Do I keep them in sensible places and put them back when I have finished using them?
• Am I punctual when carrying out my duties/commitments or getting places?

Do I Teach Others to be Orderly?

• Do I teach the children to schedule or plan their chores, homework and other activities so that each receives adequate attention?
• Do I create and stick to daily routines for the children, especially younger ones?
• Do I help the children create systems for storing their toys, clothes, etc.?  Do I make sure that they use their things properly and return them to the right place after using them?

Please share your thoughts and comments.