Reflections from Father Maletta

Father Maletta on Worries and the Culture (11/18/2012 - Be Not Afraid)

"...In his great wisdom, [John Paul II] insisted we put together a Catechism of the Catholic Church because in the middle ages, the faithful depended on the priest to tell you the truth.  To teach you.  But everything now is in black and white.  ...When I tell you what the church teaches, test me! ...If I'm telling you what the church teaches, sit up and take notice.  Because that comes from the Holy Spirit.  ...It's not happening in too many places and I worry about that.

...[Natural law] is the law built into creation, that we can look at and see what God wants us to do.  With natural law as our guide and Christian values there to support us, we can see that these behaviors are right and good, and these behaviors are wrong and bad.

...I worry mostly about you [my parishioners] - especially your marriages.  I had an opportunity to sit down with lots of different Protestant ministers...and I asked them what is the one thing that keeps you awake at night that you worry about? Every single minister at the table said marriage.

...Here's the reality my friends: ...The people that are sitting there and won't go to [marriage enrichment programs] will be the people that come back to me in the next year and say with shock on their face - she/he doesn't want to be married anymore.  Why are all the Protestant ministers and Catholic priests so concerned?  Because it's an avalanche of failed marriage.  We don't know what to do!  ...We finally have programs that are trying to help people and we can't get you to go to them!  What are you waiting for?  I worry about that!

...Mark my words, in twenty years it'll be a 70 percent [divorce rate].  In twenty years, if this historic shift continues there'll be no right or wrong - then what's the point in getting married at all?  It will be a very rare thing for someone to be married more than 10 or 15 years, because it's hard.  Those of you who are married know how hard it is.  You know that you have disagreements and misunderstandings and you hurt each other.  You say things you shouldn't to each other and you regret it and you feel guilty.  You get pulled back and forth and you know how hard it is.

...I hear it over and over and over.  People say to me: "We're getting a divorce but I think it's the best thing for the kids."  Do you think you're talking to an idiot?  I think I'm talking to an idiot at that point.  It's better for the kids?  Really?!  ...We are loving our children so much that we are damaging them.  I worry about that."  Listen to full homily

*****

Retrouvaille - a Lifeline for Married Couples

Radiant diamonds come from coal. Glorious beauty is produced under intense pressure. Is your marriage (or that of a loved one or friend) facing the pressure of disillusionment, separation or divorce? Retrouvaille of Northwest Indiana has helped couples experiencing marital difficulty at all levels, including deep misery Do not lose hope!  Healing is only a phone call away with Retrouvaille.

For more information, call (708) 802-1830 or (800) 470-2230.  Your call is confidential and will not be subject to third party discussion.  The next local Retrouvaille weekend is held January 25 - 27, 2013 in Chesterton, Indiana.  Call for additional dates or weekend locations or visit www.retrouvaille.org.

Forming our Youth: Perseverance

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

The next virtue discussed is Perseverance.

We persevere when we resolutely pursue a goal, even overcoming internal and external difficulties and resisting temptations to do so. It is important to note that blindly pursuing a goal that is clearly imprudent or no longer feasible or meaningful is not a worthy virtue. Perseverance is not the same as mere routine.

Parents should work to develop this virtue in children, particularly between the ages of 7 and 13 by:

• Working with your child to set goals that are related to her/his abilities and character and that she/he can “buy” into.
• Breaking the goal down into manageable, progressive steps that she/he can take over time.
• Showing her/him specifically how to complete each step. Do not assume that she/he knows how to do it.
• Fostering a sense of pride in your child, so that she/he feels the importance of what she/he as set out to achieve.
• Letting your child know what help may be necessary along the way and where she/he can find that help.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Do I Persevere?

• Do I set goals for myself and fix stages towards these goals in order to check whether I am making progress?
• When I set up a new goal, do I look for something I can set aside in order to concentrate my efforts on this new goal?
• Do I ask for the right help at the right time to pursue my goals?

Do I Teach Others to Persevere?

• Do I give clear-cut objectives to the children so that they get used to persevering?
• Do I reason with the children so they recognize the importance of their goals and working to achieve them?
• Do I help the children foresee problems and figure out how to overcome them?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Couple Prayer: The Year of Faith

Have you and your spouse begun to observe the Year of Faith together? In addition to our recommendation from November 15th to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, here are 9 more ways that you can celebrate the Year of Faith with your spouse:

1. Share Your Faith with Another Married Couple
2. Pray Together for at Least Fifteen Minutes - ideas include visiting the Adoration Chapel, attend Mass with your spouse, walk the prayer trail at The Shrine of Christ's Passion, attend the weekly Family Rosary, and set aside time daily at home to pray with each other.  
3. Volunteer at Your Parish - there are many ways to become involved in the Marriage-Building Parish initiative at SJE.  View the many MBP volunteer opportunities or browse the parish website for other ministries that interest you.
4. Go to Confession - especially during this season of Advent preparation for Christmas.  View the Advent confession schedule.
5. Talk about Tough Issues while Remaining Faithful - attend a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend to move your relationship from "good to great." If you need a lifeline for your hurting marriage, attend the Northwest Indiana Retrouvaille weekend coming up January 25-27, 2013 in Chesterton, IN.
6. Start a Bible Study with Your Spouse - we have several home bible studies for adults in progress at SJE.  Join one today!  We also have small group studies for couples such as Together with Jesus Couple Prayer Series, Sacred Marriage, Graced and Gifted, Made for Each Other, Made for Life, and more.  Contact us if you'd like to start-up one of these small groups.
7. Read a Good Book on Catholic Theology - browse the Lending Library in the Narthex after Masses. You can view the online resource list as well.
8. Follow Updates on the Year of Faith
9. Renew Your Vows - or attend Mass on SJE's Marriage-Building Parish weekend during the month of your anniversary to receive a blessing.

Read the original article to view additional ideas and resources:
http://togetherforlifeonline.com/year-faith-married-couples/

A Legacy of Financial Peace: an SJE Testimonial

Our journey to financial peace began in January 2008.  Entering into marriage 10 years earlier, we were not carrying any credit card debt.  We made purchases only if we could afford to pay for them within 30 days.  But home ownership - and home improvement stores offering no payments, no interest for 1 year on credit purchases - were too tempting!  We began a cycle of planning home improvements, executing those plans, and paying for them by paying off the credit card one year later with our income tax return.  The madness of this situation hit us in January 2008 when a $10,000 tax return VANISHED within 10 minutes of entering our bank account.  Julie wrote checks to pay for 2007's vacation, jewelry and home improvements and there was nothing left.  We discontinued our annual tradition of immediately heading back to Menard's and Lowe's with project lists in hand, but we didn't have any direction for how to move forward.

In fall 2008 we signed up for the Crown Financial 10-week life group bible study through SJE.  Finally, someone proclaimed God's teaching about finances and faith.  Our hearts were open and we embraced His message of stewardship with joy.  We made our first budget, began tithing, and talking about financial stewardship with all of our friends.

A phone call from fellow bible study participant, Lisa DeBoer, led Julie to an information session about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University beginning in January 2009.  Lisa had given us Dave's Total Money Makeover on CD for Christmas.  We listened to it on our annual drive to visit family for Christmas.  We were skeptical but excited.  But we had just finished our 10-week bible study and we weren't ready to commit to another 13 weekly meetings with 3 children (ages 7, 5 and 3) to find childcare for on school nights.  But after creatively "finding" $100 in the checkbook, Julie left the information session registered for a life-changing, roller-coaster ride to financial peace (and had to go home to convince Todd that we could "swing" the registration fee and evenings away from the children).

With Crown, our hearts were fully converted and we embraced stewarship.  With Financial Peace University, we discovered the tools that have helped us to achieve financial goals that we thought were only dreams.  We cut up the credit cards once and for all (about 15 of them) at our FPU class in 2009, our baby step #1 emergency fund hasn't dipped below $1,000 since we opened it, and we accelerated our remaining consumer debt and paid off a 5-year car loan in a little over 2 years (baby step #2).  Along with Lisa, we brought FPU to SJE later that year.

In February 2010 we learned an EXTREMELY important and life-changing lesson on leaving a legacy of financial peace.  On Ash Wednesday, Todd's dad unexpectedly passed away after a heart attack brought on by the stress of recovery from surgery to remove a tumor in his kidney.  Our lives changed forever.  It was our first experience losing an immediate family member.  And it impacted us financially too.  "Dude," as we affectionately called him, was our primary childcare provider when we wanted to run errands, see a movie, do our Christmas shopping, go for a date night, etc.  He was also our financial role model.  He worked hard for many years at the Amoco refinery in Whiting and retired early at 55.  He lived a fiscally conservative lifestyle.  He paid for everything in cash...a foreign concept to us for many years!  As a result, he was able to do whatever he chose to do during his retirement.  He traveled with us to Vegas many times, securing us free lodging and meals with his casino play so that we could enjoy the entertainment offered by the town.  And he was the most generous giver we knew.

Dude's final gift to us was financial peace.  Todd's inheritance helped us complete baby step #3, but it also taught us what Proverbs 13:22 should look like: "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children."  We are committed to being responsible with the gift we have received, both financially and spiritually, so that we may do the same for our children and grandchildren.  We started FPU at SJE so that others could change their family legacy as well.  We see the fruits of that effort in many families...and we pray that yours will be the next! 

Advent Blessings,
Todd & Julie Zasada
December 2012

The new 9-week format of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University will be offered at SJE on Thursday evenings beginning January 10, 2012.  For more information or to register online, please visit our website.