Reflections from Father Maletta

Father Maletta on Family Traditions (12/12/2010 - Gaudete Sunday: What Brings You Joy?)

"...What are you joyful for? ... My mind immediately went to something that I've been stewing in my head since Deacon Paul preached a few weeks ago and he mentioned family traditions. And maybe it's because this time of year that always happens and maybe because I realize that my parents aren't going to be around that much longer ... What I want to do is talk a little bit, share with you a little bit about some of the traditions, and why those family traditions are so important and what's really behind those family traditions... When I tell you about some of these family traditions, I want you to think about your family traditions. And if you don't have any family traditions right now, I want you to think about making some family traditions."
Listen to the full homily

Forming Our Youth: Optimism

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.



Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

The second virtue discussed is Optimism.

Optimism involves being realistic and consciously seeking the positive aspects of a situation before looking for the difficulties or looking for what can be gained by those difficulties. True optimism is motivated by self-confidence and a trust in the help of others, particularly in God’s help. The latter element is important, because confidence in and reliance solely on oneself may lead to naivety or pride.

An optimistic person:

• Is filled with inner peace.
• Always expects the best, but is willing to accept something less than perfect with good grace.
• Shows confidence in people’s potential instead of judging them merely by the facts of the situation.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Optimistic?

• Do I trust God so that, although I may find no sense in a specific event on a human level, I know that everything is for the good?
• In difficult situations, do I make an effort to discover something positive and try not to complain?
• Do I have self-confidence and make good use of the talents God has given me?

Do I Teach Others to Be Optimistic?

• Do I center my attention on what is positive in each child so that they learn to develop self-confidence?
• When objective, negative things occur – for example, an illness, a lack of loyalty in some friend, failing an exam – do I help the children look for something positive in the situation?  
• Do I teach the children to ask for the help needed to carry out their projects? (Children need to learn when to ask for help from their parents, from teachers and from their friends.  They should also get used to asking for God’s help, knowing that, in every way, everything will work out well.)

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Couple Prayer: Catechism of the Catholic Church

It has been a goal of ours from the beginning to tie the Marriage-Building Parish Initiative to the Year of Faith which began on October 11, 2012. We recognize that fostering a commitment to reading and understanding the richness of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, with an emphasis on the Creed, across all age groups and in the home will be the primary link between the two initiatives.

Read the Catechism in a Year
Sign-up to have a little bit of the Catechism delivered to your inbox every day using the link below.  Then spend time reflecting with your spouse each evening or once a week on what the readings meant to you, if they inspired you or challenged you, and what new concepts and teachings you are being exposed to.  Begin this time of reflection with a prayer to the Holy Spirit.

The CCC on Marriage
If you've never seen the Catechism of the Catholic Church before, you'll quickly discover that it's broken into Parts, Sections, Chapters, Articles and Paragraphs.  Married couples new to the CCC are encouraged to jump ahead to Part Two, Section Two, Chapter One, Article 7: The Sacrament of Matrimony (beginning at paragraph 1601) to discover the beauty of marriage in God's plan.  Read two or three paragraphs each day and use the aforementioned reflection technique with your spouse each evening or once a week.  Recite the USCCB's Prayer in Defense of Marriage before your reflection time.

Also recommended are Part Three, Section Two, Chapter Two, Articles 4-6 (beginning at paragraph 2196) which cover the Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Commandments.  Couples will find extensive commentary on the role of the family in God's plan, what it means to be a Christian family, respect for human life and the dignity of persons, sexuality, chastity, and the love of husband and wife.

CCC Online
Don't own a copy of the Catechism?  > Read it on the USCCB Website
Or use the following subscription to receive excerpts in your inbox daily...

Resource Referral: Happy Together

Here's another featured marriage enrichment resource from the SJE Lending Library.  Borrow the book this weekend...

"Happy Together: The Catholic Blueprint for a Loving Marriage"
by John Bosio

"What you believe about your marriage and about your spouse shapes the way you treat your mate.  Ultimately what you believe about marriage influences whether you are happy or miserable in your relationship, and whether you stay married or not.

We Christians believe that God intends for marriage to bring joy to the human heart.  We are a gift to each other and find fulfillment and happiness together.  However, being a gift is not easy. Fortunately God had given us Christ who shows us how to be a gift and gives us the graces to follow him.

St Paul advised the Ephesians: 'Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church.' (Ephesians 5:25)   Blessed John Paul II echoed the words of Paul when he wrote in his Letter to Families (1994) 'Husbands and wives discover in Christ the point of reference for their spousal love.'

Happy Together asks the questions: How do we follow Christ's example in being a gift to each other?  How are we to love our spouse as Christ loved the Church?  The author finds the answer to these questions in Christ's acts of love for the Church as expressed in the Seven Sacraments.

In Baptism he welcomes us to his Kingdom.
In Confirmation he bind us to himself with the seal of the Holy Spirit.
In the Eucharist he gives himself totally to us, even to the point of dying on the cross.
In the sacrament of Reconciliation he forgives us.
In the Anointing of the Sick he heals us.
And in Holy Orders and Matrimony he serves the Church.

The Blueprint of Love, the qualities of spousal love that are explored in the chapters of this book are:
-Welcoming and Accepting each other
-Keeping our Commitment to being present to each other
-Being willing to Sacrifice for the sake of the relationship
-Forgiving and being willing to ask forgiveness
-Helping each other Heal
-and Serving each other and together Serving God.

In Christ's love for the Church we find the blueprint for our loving. When spouses follow the example of Jesus they become an image, a sacrament of divine love to each other and to their community.

Happy Together, the Catholic Blueprint for a Loving Marriage describes the blueprint for growth in your Christian marriage."

Explore more online resources from John Bosio at http://www.happy-together.net/

Reflections from Father Maletta

Father Maletta on Marriage (2/13/2011 - World Marriage Day)

"Every human being has an innate longing to find that special person.  To find someone that they can share their whole life with.  Someone who will be their partner in this journey of life.  Someone that they can trust and open themselves up to and feel at home with.  That's why so many people get married....

My point of the homily today is very simple: take your marriage seriously.  Take it seriously.  We know already that appoximately 50 percent of marriages end in divorce...

[Divorce is] like a living death.  When you lose someone you love, as horrible as that is, there's closure at least.  You can go to a grave and visit that grave.  When someone divorces you, especially when they find someone else, every time you see that person, every time you have to have contact with that person, it's that hurt and that death all over again...

What shocked me in looking at the latest statistics was this: ...the highest rate of increase in divorce in the United States is those people who have been married for 20 or more years."
Listen to the full homily

There are four stages of marriage: Romance, Disillusionment, Misery and Awakening

Marriage does not follow the Happily Ever After formula portrayed in popular media. Most couples whose marriages end in divorce are often people who never learned the proper tools for a happy marriage and became overwhelmed in disillusionment or misery. Do not lose hope!  Awakening is only a phone call away with Retrouvaille.

Couples in Retrouvaille learn to move from Misery to Awakening with learnable skills, attitudes and tools to combat the inevitable problems of the real world.  For more information, call (708) 802-1830 or (800) 470-2230.  Your call is confidential and will not be subject to third party discussion.

The next local Retrouvaille weekend is held November 29 - December 2, 2012 in St. Charles, Illinois.  Call for additional dates or weekend locations or visit www.retrouvaille.org.