Forming Our Youth continued: Catholic Dating

Each month we've been highlighting a virtue related to the Forming Our Youth marriage-building parish building block.  We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships.  A recent article "A Parent's Guide to Courtship: Tips for Holy Catholic Dating" by Lori Hadacek Chaplin was featured in the June 2-15 edition of the National Catholic Register.

Chaplin writes that "From personal experience, I don’t regard the kind of dating where some guy comes by to take my daughter out for several hours on a Friday or Saturday night conducive to her earthly happiness and well-being — or the happiness of her eternal soul."

Chaplin further outlines:

• The Problem with Dating: "The modern dating scene sets our sons and daughters up for repeated emotional pain, all in the name of casual fun or entertainment."
• Dating vs. Courtship: "Before the advent of the car, couples got to know each other in the context of their family circles, otherwise known as courting. There was a measure of seriousness involved because couples were trying to discern marriage."
• Marriage in Mind: "Begin a relationship with the end in mind."

Chaplin's closing advice suggests that "Parents once again need to take an active role in helping their children choose a suitable spouse and to provide safeguards to protect their children’s virtue and their future happiness."  > Read the full article

What do you think?  Share your thoughts and links to other articles on the same topic.  

Forming Our Youth: Moderation

Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.


Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

This month's featured virtue is Moderation.

People who are Moderate distinguish between what is reasonable and what is self-indulgent. They are able to enjoy life, and the good things in life, but they do not live for pleasure alone. They use their senses, time, money, and efforts in service to God and others. A moderate person recognizes that true, deep satisfaction is gained by pursuing high ideals and a Godly life, and that the pleasures of the flesh and the world are superficial and will always leave one wanting more. Moderation should be lived with joy, keeping one’s spirit lifted always to God.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I Moderate?

• Am I conscious of the fact that as a Christian I should put all that I own– my time, my possessions, my efforts, my money and my senses– to the best use, to help others and to serve God?
• When I eat or drink or spend time on a hobby, do I always try to finish wanting a bit more?
• Do I find a harmonious way for spending my time on family, on my work, with my friends, on my duties as a citizen and as a child of God, without exaggeration and without falling short?
• Am I tied to one particular possession, or any particular routine, or any specific activity? Do I get upset when I can’t use that possession, or the routine is broken or when I cannot do that activity?

Do I Teach Others to Be Moderate?

• Do I help the children distinguish between what is necessary and what is superfluous; between what is reasonable and what is just a whim?
• Do I teach children what money is worth? Do I teach them how to earn, save and spend their money? Do I help the children have good taste, not necessarily buying the cheapest thing, but to spend money wisely, and to enjoy their possessions reasonably?
• Do I try to get the children to control their basic appetites? Do I insist on self-control?
• Do I teach the children to harmoniously distribute their time and make good use of it? Or, do I allow them to have a disproportionate amount of time watching television, playing video games or pursuing some other hobby?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Couple Prayer: In Defense of Marriage

http://www.marriageuniqueforareason.org/

USCCB: Prayer in Defense of Marriage

God our Father,
we give you thanks for the gift of marriage:
the bond of life and love, and the font of the family.

The love of husband and wife enriches your Church with children,
fills the world with a multitude of spiritual fruitfulness and service,
and is the sign of the love of your Son, Jesus Christ, for his Church.

The grace of Jesus flowed forth at Cana at the request of the Blessed Mother.
May your Son, through the intercession of Mary,
pour out upon us a new measure of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit
as we join with all people of good will
to promote and protect the unique beauty of marriage.

May your Holy Spirit enlighten our society
to treasure the heroic love of husband and wife,
and guide our leaders to sustain and protect
the singular place of mothers and fathers in the lives of their children.

Father, we ask that our prayers be joined to those of the Virgin Mary,
that your Word may transform our service
so as to safeguard the incomparable splendor of marriage.
We ask all these things through Christ our Lord,
Amen.

Saints Joachim and Anne, pray for us.

En Español

Upcoming:
2013 Fortnight for Freedom: June 21 to July 4
The U.S. bishops have called for a Fortnight for Freedom, a two-week period of prayer and action, to address many current challenges to religious liberty, including the August 1, 2013 deadline for religious organizations to comply with the HHS mandate; Supreme Court rulings that could redefine marriage in June, and religious liberty concerns in areas such as immigration and humanitarian services.

Marriage and Radicalism

Our prayers and blessings are offered today for all those who are serving and have served our country with dignity and honor.  You have our utmost respect and eternal gratitude for the sacrifices you have made in your family and marriage to serve us.  May God grant you grace for your selfless actions to uphold our freedoms.

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Have you ever contemplated the Sacrament of Marriage as a radical form of Christianity?
In a recent post on his DalyFocus blog, Jim Daly of Focus on the Family did something similar and we are inspired to share his thoughts!  In micro-summary form - he offers that the Three Ways to Be a Radical Christian include getting married young, have many children, and raise your kids to love the Lord.  AMEN  >Read the full post

Here's another one inspired by the blog Made in His Image:  avoid premarital sex!  >Read MIHI's blog post on How Premarital Sex Rewires the Brain

As our culture pressures us to accept the inevitability of the redefinition of marriage, we'd propose that standing firm and upholding the truth that marriage is between one man and one woman as yet another radical form of Christianity.  We'll offer some advice and talking points in this regard from the USCCB website Marriage: Unique for a Reason

• Read about What You Can Do as the Supreme Court prepares to rule on DOMA and Prop 8.  Hint: it involves prayer and speaking out!
• Read Lead Messages of Marriage Redefinition for advice on what to say when marriage comes up in conversation with friends, family members, neighbors, co-workers, etc. because "Marriage needs to be strengthened, not redefined. Cohabitation, divorce, and contraception all erode marriage’s meaning as a public, total, lifelong, and fruitful communion of persons between husband and wife."

Please share with us your thoughts and ways in which marriage can be lived as a form of radical Christianity. May God bless you for defending marriage!

Making June Plans? Save these Dates

The Marriage-Building Parish Initiative has nearly completed its year of programming and enrichment opportunities. Yesterday, our capstone presentation by Mrs. Kimberly Hahn spiritually "filled to the brim" one participant and "ended too soon" in the words of another. Mrs. Hahn's scriptural insights into God's design for marriage were truly a blessing to all. Our Lending Library will be stocked with new resources from Mrs. Hahn, including the 3 books which her talks were based upon: "Chosen and Cherished: Biblical Wisdom for Your Marriage," "Beloved and Blessed: Biblical Wisdom for Family Life," and "Life-Giving Love: Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage."

The month of June features several events that we hope you will join us for:

June 2nd - Financial Peace University Begins: If your marriage relationship is struggling due to lack of communication on finances, if you've never been on the same page about spending vs. saving, if you are burdened with debt, if you need advice on how to plan for retirement, or if you just need some motivation to get your financial house in order...FPU is the program for you! The series will meet Sunday evenings from 6:00 to 8:00 PM in the SJE Life House. Childcare may be available for those who register in advance. Read More and Register Today!

June 9th - Children's Rosary: All families are invited to join us at 6:00 PM when we'll pray the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary at the SJE Day Chapel using an interactive and dynamic manner that engages children of all ages.

 Children aged 8 and older are needed to read the reflections and lead the prayers, and those in 4th grade or above are needed to help as song leaders. We will gather at the school playground behind the Day Chapel afterwards for fellowship and light refreshments. Please bring a snack to share and lawn chair if you’d like a place to sit.

June 23rd - "Celebrate Marriage" is an ecumenical prayer service of the Indiana Pastors Alliance.  All are welcome to participate in praise and  fellowship as we recognize the sanctity of marriage.  We'll meet at 5:00 PM in the SJE Church at 10701 Olcott Avenue, St. John...followed by delicious treats provided by SJE's Angel Food Ministry.  Invite your family, co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintances to this family-friendly gathering!

June 29th/30th - At all weekend Masses, we'll close our Marriage-Building parish year in grand style with a renewal of vows by all married couples in attendance!

Forming Our Youth: Modesty

A final reminder that tickets are still available for our capstone presentation in the Marriage-Building Speaker Series on May 18th featuring Mrs. Kimberly Hahn!  Cost is only $10 per person with advance registration online or in the parish office.  Register online now!

Tickets will also be available at the door for $15 per person

Don't Forget about these Related Events at SJE:

Wednesday, 15th: Mom & Tot small group study featuring DVD presentations by Kimberly Hahn.  > Read More & Register

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Forming Our Youth:
a Marriage-Building Parish Building Block

We must form young people in the beliefs and virtues necessary for healthy relationships. > Read more about this building block

As part of the Marriage Building Parish initiative, the Catholic Family Institute, with permission from Four Court Press LTD, will feature excerpts from Mr. Isaac’s book each month in the bulletin and on this blog.


Character Building: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by David Isaacs

In his book, Mr. Isaacs explores twenty-four virtues we should develop to have more “self-mastery and better serve others,” abilities we all hope our children will have.  Recognizing that the example we set leaves a more lasting impression on our children than the words we say, each chapter includes a description of a virtue and a series of questions that help assess how well you are living that virtue and how well you are helping to develop the virtue in children/students.

This month's featured virtue is Modesty.

Modest people recognize the value of their own privacy and respect that of others. Individual privacy relates to the uniqueness of each human person as a composite of body, soul and emotions. Respect for one’s privacy can be seen in the home, one’s dress and one’s language.

• The home should provide physical and emotional space for each member of the family to express her/his true intimate self and to share that intimate self appropriately with the other members of the family and trusted friends.
• Modesty in dress means that our body is available to no one but ourselves and that we have no desire to share it with everybody giving us the ability to share it with only one person in particular, our spouse, or nobody at all if called to a religious vocation.
• Modesty in language means speaking of intimate matters and personal problems in the appropriate circumstances to the right person at the right time and protecting from the curiosity of others the feelings, sentiments and states of mind that make up one’s spiritual and emotional life.

Answer the following questions and discuss your reflections with a spouse/friend.

Am I modest?

• Do I understand that sometimes I should keep things to do with my intimate self private and that sometimes I should share it with others? When I share these things with others, is it because I am looking for help or I think I may be able to help them?
• Do I dress according to the rules of modesty and consider whether my clothing and my demeanor will provoke members of the opposite sex?
• Do I try to be careful about the language I use in order not to be vulgar or crude or offend God?

Do I Teach Others to Be Modest?

• Do I insist that children respect other peoples privacy by knocking on doors before entering and not walking around the house without clothes on?
• Do I help the children understand the importance of not prying into other people’s privacy and encourage them to dress and behave themselves in a modest manner?
• Do I give my children age-appropriate information about their bodies and sex framed in the context of God’s plan for marital love and them personally and in accordance with the moral/sexual teachings of the Church?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

Resource Referral: The 4 Seasons of Marriage

Before we get to this week's resource referral on marriage, a quick reminder that tickets are still available for our capstone presentation in the Marriage-Building Speaker Series on May 18th featuring Mrs. Kimberly Hahn!  Cost is only $10 per person.  Register online now!

Don't Forget about these Related Events at SJE:

Wednesdays, May 8th & 15th: Mom & Tot small group study featuring DVD presentations by Kimberly Hahn.  > Read More & Register

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Father Maletta recently shared his book recommendations which included a "Highly Recommended" designation for The 4 Seasons of Marriage by Dr. Gary Chapman. Chapman is the author of best selling The Five Love Languages. He provides an easy-to-grasp framework to help couples understand their marriage and seven practical strategies for strengthening or improving their marriage relationship based on what season they find themselves in.

Read more about the book and take a marriage quiz online at www.fourseasonsofmarriage.com!